Good things and bad things

Bad: Flara's PICC (central line) infection has spread. Her blood culture grew out the same bacteria as was growing in her line. Grr. But, she's still on her antibiotics, so she hasn't taken any steps backwards. Her lab work still looks really good; she'll just be on her meds for a while longer. Also, it's still making her feel not as spunky as she usually can be. =( She's still on her SiPap, and didn't tolerate well an attempt to lower her settings. Infections can be real downers.

Good: WE HELD FLARA FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you sense my enthusiasm? Mike and I had to split our visit because we came during the day. I'm thinking Noël must be certain we go to the hospital just to get jelly beans and ice cream. I feel bad she doesn't know we go to visit her very own "Baaaay-beeeeee" as she says often. But, since we split the visit and knew we would be holding Flara today, I went in first. Our thought was that if only one of us were able, we would rather I hold her. So, I happily trudged in, but my Flara was too cold! She had been moved to another room (yay for the no isolation thing!), but the stress of it must've had the best of her. We opened up her isolette to the radiant warmer mode, pulled her close to me, and I sat and cuddled her while still in her bed. When my 45 minutes were up, we rechecked her temperature. 99.9! Well, guess who got to reap the benefits? Daddy! I really didn't mind. I went and swapped out with him. He asked if I wanted him to hold off. I replied, "no." I felt too strongly that our little gal needed to feel human touch to make her wait another day. So, off he went to hold our precious Flara while I took over Noël duties. We played in the waiting room, changed TWO stinky pants, frequented the vending machines, and ate candy. Meanwhile, I kept wondering how the holding was going. 30 minutes into Mike's visit, he comes racing wild-eyed into the waiting room.

Mike: "Go. Go hold Flara. I stopped early so you could hold her."

Me: "What?"

Mike: "I'm serious. But, go. You don't have too much time."

Me: "But, Mike. That's your time."

Mike: "Just go. R's still holding her so you can hold her. But hurry."

So, off I went... excitedly! I sat in the chair, and R handed me my precious little gal for the first time. Ever. In the 23 days she has been in the world. (Heart melted.) I think it was the quickest 15 minutes in my life. I kept watching the clock. I just didn't want it to end. I could've sat there all day with her. She's been looking bigger lying in her bed, but holding her, I felt how tiny she really is. There was no weight to her, either, as she lay on my chest. I had her little booty cupped in one hand, and the other over her little head. That booty felt like nothing. She buried her little head in my chest and let out occasional sweet whimpers. Both her little hands worked at my collar bones. It reminded me of a kitty working its paws. I imagine human skin must have felt so wonderful to her. She's always holding onto something in her isolette... her feeding tube, the IV tubing, her heart leads (to the monitor). It must've just been nice to hold something that felt alive. With my time up, I put her back to bed, and got to do something else for the first time. I kissed her sweet, sweet little head. Then, I kissed her again. Like holding, I could've kissed that little girl 1000 times over.

R took a few pictures for us, and then printed them off. I have to scan them into the computer, which means Mike is going to have to scan them into the computer. I'll post them as soon as we get them. =)

Mike and I drove home on clouds! Noël was happy, too. Because she always is. =) She had her paci, bubble blankie, and Duncan Doodledog. Can't beat that combo!

Besides holding, Flara basically was unchanged on her orders. Feedings remain the same, lab work unchanged, still at 2 lb 3 oz (although with a 10 gram loss last night), SiPap settings the same.

We do ask that you continue to pray for her diligently... especially that this infection would clear up. Also, that she would regain her strength and peppiness, and that her lungs would improve enough to advance on her oxygen support needs.

Please also pray for her upcoming eye exam. This should happen within the next week. Preemies are at risk for something called Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP) from the use of oxygen. I could give a long explanation here, but I won't. I'm not sure how much any one really cares about the details, so I'll give an overview. I feel like I'm instructing parents at work! =) The basic gist is that lots of oxygen causes vessels in the eye to constrict, which causes them to produce more vessels to compensate... too many vessels can damage the retina... in short. That's the quickest I can explain it. Either way, the retinal damage can be none, minimal, on up to severe enough to cause blindness. Flara has always had minimal oxygen requirements, so we have no concerns. But, it's always good to keep praying.

Also, as she nears 32 weeks, she'll be meeting with a variety of specialists. She'll have consults with a speech therapist (preemies develop things like oral aversions that get in the way of their ability to nurse/ take bottles, so the speech therapist will assess her and tell us how we can help her develop... although the girl happily chomps on her paci, so I doubt she has any aversions!). Also, physical therapists and occupational therapists will be meeting with her as well. Without the confines of the uterine environment to kick and move against, the babes sometimes don't develop muscle tone like they should, get stiff, and sometimes develop shortened muscles from only laying one way or the other. Torticollis... now there's a 50 cent word, and it happens to be a word I like saying! It's shortening of the sternocleidomastoid muscle. Whew! Anyways, things like that happen from not being in that happy fluid-filled world. Of course, there's lots more to it, but this is my short, generalized explanation!

I feel like I just wrote the "Beginner's Guide to the NICU," so I'm going to leave it for now!

Oh, one last thing... I took a wonderful hot soak in my jacuzzi bath last night. My first since everything happened. It was wonderful. I stayed for nearly 3 hours!!! And, I started and NEARLY finished a book. =)

So, that was a good start to good sleep that lead into a VERY good day.