A due date remembered...

December 23rd marked Flara's due date. I didn't think it would mean much, but it actually brought about moments of deep thought of what it would have been like to carry Flara to term and to be coming home with a brand new baby right at Christmas.

I know the intense joy Mike and I shared at the birth of sweet Noël, and the excitement in bringing her home to be a family. Although Mike had to be gone the first six weeks of Noël's (born) life, the experience of bringing her into the world and bringing her home was more than I could have ever anticipated.

I wanted that for Flara. While taking my shower that day, I was distracted by thoughts of longing for a 'normal' delivery and for a 'normal' homecoming. In the days leading up to our due date, Mike and I would realize that I could have been pregnant now. We'd say, 'wow, I'd be massive' and 'dude, you would be so miserable.' Yes, pregnancy can be miserable, and makes the belly massive, but it's enjoyable and brings about satisfaction in knowing that a whole new little person is growing and developing while carrying on with normal life.

Due Date Day made me think of how different things would be for Flara. No head bleeds, no eye problems, no belly problems, no super-intense reflux so she has to sleep on a steep incline, no slightly-flattened spot on her little head from not having an aqueous environment to grow within... life could have been very different. But, then, my mind quickly snaps back to reality. Flara was dying. Plainly put. When I realize what her very early arrival saved her from, and I so thank God for that, I realize I wouldn't want her to come any other day. God knows what he's doing!

So, those are my thoughts on the day. A friend who had a preemie had expressed to me that she was saddened by her due date day. I didn't know if I would be or not. I understand now.

Happy, Happy Christmas!

I don't so much enjoy saying or writing 'merry.' To me, I like 'happy, happy' better. I don't know why... I just do. =)

So! Today marks Noël's second Christmas, and Flara's first! How fun! That also makes it sound like we are busy at quickly expanding our kiddo line-up. haha!

We rang in Christmas by attending the Christmas Eve service at our church. Mike had a couple of verses to read. I would have liked to watch him actually read those verses, but I was around the corner allowing Noël to frolic in the playroom. She loves her 'dada' so much, I knew that if she saw him on stage, that little determined girl would go marching right up the stairs to him. So as to not disturb the service for the nicely-sized crowd, I tried my best to hear from afar. He did great!

Once we got home, we put the girls to bed and finished wrapping a couple of presents and setting them out under the tree. We filled Noël's stocking with a few things of candy (plain M&M's, Skittles, and Reese's cups), as well as a couple of little toys. Halfway through filling her stocking, Mike and I looked up at each other in the glow of our Christmas lights and remarked, "this is really fun." We didn't have a lot to give, and we were (still are!) okay with that. Overall, the girls had a really good Christmas. Actually, I think this is my favorite Christmas of all. Mike and I couldn't get presents for each other, but I honestly didn't even miss it. Watching Noël (mainly Snoop) open the presents, and her delighted little squeals of excitement, followed by her hearty belly chuckles, and holding our sweet little Flara was more than I could ever ask for. All I wanted for Christmas was my littlest baby girl home, and we have her!

The wind had blown hard all throughout the night bringing us warmer weather. =) No white Christmas for me! However, the wind kept blowing out our electricity. I was doing a 24 hour low (temperature) and slow (cook-time) of my massive 22 pound turkey, so being awakened multiple times by Mike telling me the power was out AGAIN left me pretty tired come morning! (Not counting getting up to feed our hungry pseudo-newborn.) Well, okay, and counting that we stayed up late watching a marathon of The Office episodes. Finally, I lay awake at 0610 just listening to the rain hitting our windows, and Flara sleeping, and Mike sleeping, and Noël's humidifier next door humming, and SnoopDogg occasionally letting out a gruff here and there, I decided at 0710 to get up and shower, and begin finishing up all the cooking we didn't do the day before (due, admittedly, to plain laziness and being bound to The Office).

Because our church is made up (in large part) of imports, as are we, we decided to invite our small group to our home to celebrate with us in the afternoon. Many of us, being imports, don't have family in the area. We thought it might be nice to handle the cooking and give people a place to go. We were honestly finishing up cooking and cleaning to the last minute, but it wasn't bad at all. Noël was busy playing with her new toys, and Flara was sleeping, so Mike and I were able to cook together. At some point, I did sport Flara in my baby-sling. So, she helped me make deviled eggs! When our guests did arrive, we had a really great time eating and talking and laughing. Not everything was clean, and not everything I had planned to make was made, but we didn't notice. Funny how little details can consume our thoughts, and yet, be amazingly unnoticed in the absence of their presence.

Home Free!!!!

YIPEE!!!!

Archived... from last Saturday. =)

Yesterday, we finished an 84-day stay in the NICU when Flara was finally able to come home!!!! What a relief and an answer to prayer that we were able to bring our little girl home and complete our family... right before Daddy's birthday!

We wish we could thank each person individually who has been holding little Flara up in prayer, as well as praying for our family. We have been through the roughest spots in our life, but God sustained us through it all, and is still sustaining us!

It was great to bring Flara out into the hallway where she was able to really meet her big Sissy. Miss Noël was proudly sporting her 'Big Sister' shirt and calling out "BeeBee" when I brought our little girl out of the 'Butterfly Cove.' It was fun sending Mike text messages and pictures in anticipation of bringing Flara out forEVER!

I thought we had little to pack into our car, but we actually had a lot. =) Mostly, it was things given to us at discharge like extra bottles and diapers, but it ended up filling our trunk. Included, too, was a boat load of bottles of frozen milk. We had enough to fill our big ole cooler! It was a very chilly day, so we had to quickly get everything into the car, and for our first time, wrangle TWO kids into the car! Whew!

Although we were super excited to close this chapter of our lives, it was extremely difficult to say goodbye to people who have come to mean so much for us over the past 3 months. When I walked into Flara's room for the final time, her primary that day was sitting in a chair. We just looked at each other, shook our heads, and declared we were NOT going to cry. Some of our primaries, we didn't even get to tell goodbye because Flara snuck out before we were anticipating. Getting into the car, we had to give our 'for real' final goodbye with our primary. That was really sad. Mike commented going home that when we were told to have happy lives all together, that he didn't want it to not include her. I agreed. When someone brings your baby through their (hopefully) toughest trial in their life, and helps to walk you through the experience as well, a close-knit bond is formed...

Tomorrow could be Flara's big day!!!!

The feeding tube is still out, and she's doing great. Tomorrow, I hear, could be the day she gets to come home!!!!!!!!! =D

Trying not to jump out of my seat in excitement, but as Mike said, "My hopes are already WAY up." Either way, we are probably at max just a few days away!

HOORAY!

It might not last, but...

HER FEEDING TUBE IS OUT!!!!!!

Whew! Please pray Flara holds on and can eat everything all by her (big) self! This is pretty much the last thing holding her in the NICU, so we are really hoping she can make it.

Cue cheesy music... I'm so excited, I just can't hide it, I'm about to lose control.... hahahaaa! DORK!

Big girl!

Flara not only turned 38 weeks today, but she reached the 5 pound mark! She's officially 5 pounds, 1.1 ounces. That's one heavy baby!

Flara had her repeat hearing test yesterday. Thankfully, she passed on BOTH sides this time. We won't have to do a follow-up for 9 months now.

She had her test to check how her bladder empties on Monday. Preliminarily, that shows nothing out of the ordinary. Good girl!

Really, the only thing holding Flara back from coming home is getting to where she will eat everything completely on her own. She was really close over the weekend (at about 80%), but really slowed over the past couple of days.

We are getting more and more anxious to get her home. The closer we get to her coming-home date, the harder it is to accept that she's still in the hospital. Oh, please keep praying for our patience!

Very exciting news!!!

One, little Flara is eating almost all of her food by bottle or by nursing! She's still taking just a bit here and there via tube feedings, but she's so close to doing all the work on her own! The docs are thinking she might only be in the NICU for a week or two more!

Second, her brain bleed/ blood clot has completely resolved!!!!! We were expecting for the clot to slowly diminish over the next however many months, but we were shocked to learn that her repeat head ultrasound on Tuesday showed that it has completely healed already! We are so thankful that God brought about such a quick recovery for little Flara!

She's now up to a whopping 4 pounds 10 ounces! Her little personality is really starting to show through. One of her favorite game to play with the night nurses is 'opossum.' She'll stare at her primary nurse while she's talking, but as soon as C looks down at her, Flara closes her eyes and 'pretends' to sleep! So funny! She does it OVER and OVER again!

I don't remember if I blogged about it (I should have read my prior post beforehand...), but Noël and Flara were able to meet each other for the first time early this week! Although it was through glass, and Noël wanted to come through the door so badly, it was just so sweet to see Noël's reaction. She says "my beebee" all of the time, but she has never said "sissy" even though we talk about her sissy regularly. Upon seeing Flara, Noël blurted out, "Baby. Sissy." It was just the sweetest thing! Mike got it all on videotape! This has brought about a return of Noël's baby craziness, so now she is back to diapering and toting her baby doll everywhere. =)

We're still waiting on a repeat hearing screen for Flara. She's also going to go for one more test to check how her bladder empties before she goes home (because of her history of a prior urinary tract infection). There's not much more for Flara to do to get ready to come home, so we are just anxiously awaiting the day!