Funny Tall-tale of the Day

Noël has been really tired this week from lots of missed naps and late bedtimes.  Apparently, we've been having just a bit too much fun in the Veitz household.  =)

Around 4 this afternoon, she really started to rub her eyes.  "Are you sleepy, Noël?"  She looked at me, still rubbing her eyes, and gave me that long-drawn-with a funny inflection in the middle, "noooooooo."

Me: "You're not sleepy?  You're rubbing your eyes."

She looks at me with a concerned face and stops rubbing her eyes.

She brings one finger to her face and points to her eye.

Noël:  "Mammy, mys eyes outsie."

Me:  "Your eye is ouchy?  What from?"

Noël:  "Mammy, mys eyes outsie.  Is bock-bock."  Translation:  My eye is ouchy from a chicken.

Me:  "Noël, a bock bock made your eye ouchy?"

Noël shakes her head very seriously yes.

Me:  "So, a bock bock made your eye hurt?"

Noël:  "Bock bocks mys eyes outsie."  (Starts rubbing again).

Me:  "Okay, you're rubbing your eyes not because you're sleepy, but because a bock bock hurt you?"

Noël:  A very big nod 'yes.'

Then, she falls backwards dramatically on the couch with a really funny grin on her face.

The girl is a nut!

Rolling with laughter...

Okay, not necessarily together, but both are happening with FlareBear now!

I discovered the roll-overs when I put her in Noël's bed-formerly-known-as-Crib for a nap a couple of days ago.  I think we have it established through pictures that my babies sleep in manners not kosher with the current campaigns... thanks to reflux issues gone mad.  But, anyways, I put Flara in the crib and walked away.  Some period of time later, she was awake and crying.  When I went to retrieve her, she was on her back!  And, she looked SHOCKED!  Hooray!  Big girl rolled over!

It has happened several times since, and many times today!  It makes me happy and a bit proud to know that our 'homework' is paying off!  She's also leaning hard to the sides when we're playing with her on her back and starting to get the motions down that she will need to learn to roll over from her back to her tummy.  Oh, how fun!

During bath time a few nights ago, she let out a short little chuckle when I washed her neck.  That little chuckle delighted me, but that was all she would offer.  Well, today, I was playing with her, and tickled that little neck, and she really got to chuckling!  It was so cute!  So, over and over again, like a meanie, I kept tickling her neck and making her laugh!  It was great.  =)  I can't describe her little laugh.  It's really funny... not a traditional laugh or chuckle that I normally hear from babies.  It is just distinctively Flara.

Those little milestones sure brighten my day.  It makes me feel like we're maybe starting to get somewhere!

On Big Sister news... she is still doing great in her big girl bed.  I think that has to be the smoothest transition ever.  She's so good at big girl bed, that on the third night, she started crawling into bed by herself!  She is big enough (in her eyes!) to not need her mommy or daddy to put her in bed.  =)

Tonight, she is sleeping with a pillow for the first time.  REALLY big girl!

On the name news, she has renamed her mommy.  No longer does she call me by 'ma ma' or 'mom mom' or 'mommy.'  I am now a short and forceful "MAMMY."  That really cracks me up!

If you Facebook, then these are old news, but here's a smiley Flara!  She makes it hard to capture grins on camera, but if her Mammy sings, she lights up!  Her favorite song is "In Christ Alone."  =)

This is big stuff Noël practicing her modeling poses!  ha!  She was sporting all sorts of funny stances, so I kept snapping.  Here, I asked her to 'give me serious.'  

A triumphant day. =)

Today has been an official 'big girl' day for Noël.  I know many of you know that Noël's potty-training has been an ongoing thing in our house.  I have always stated that my way of raising my kids is very 'laissez faire.'  Thus, I tend to generally allow Noël (and now Flara) to do things when she is ready... at her own pace.  Of course, I add some directing, but I don't push.

So, with my laissez-faire approach, potty training has just been hit or miss.  She has days where she strictly wants to go on the big girl potty, and days where she only wants a diaper.  I'm fine with that.  Today, though, she decided from early morning that she needed to use the big girl potty, and use it she did!  In the entire course of her waking day, we only had one booboo on the floor that resulted in a very loud "ooooooohhhh" from the disappointed Noël!  I was quite proud of my girl!

The next big success was that she is sleeping for her first night in her big girl bed!!!!!  She's had her bed set-up for months, but I've been allowing her to play on it and get used to it, but haven't pushed her to sleep in it.  Some days, I might ask her, but she always tells me that she's not ready and attempts to climb into her crib.

Tonight, however, she sat in her bed with the owl pillows pulled over her.  She told me she wanted to sleep there!  After getting her all-ready for bed, I started bringing all of her little buddies and blankies into her bed.  "Noooo, noooo, nooooooo" she told me.  I think she was beginning to feel just a bit nervous about leaving the safe confines of her crib.  "Oh, honey, you'll be fine.  You're such a big girl.  I know you're ready!  Plus, all of your little friends are sitting here cheering you on!"  She smiled.  Then, she looked worried.  "And, you can leave your bowl of Cheerios right here, and in the morning, if you make it, your daddy will give you the biggest high-five ever!"

Well, that did it!  She smiled really big and rolled onto her tummy.  I kissed her goodnight one last time, prayed with her that she would feel peace and comfort in her big girl bed, assured her that I would keep her door propped open for a while so she would feel okay, tucked her in, turned out her light, then walked out of her door holding my breath in anticipation of the little girl running after me in tears.  Did it happen?  Nope!  I heard one little word from her, and it's been quiet since!  I am so proud of my big girl!

I waited one hour, then pulled her door shut.  Nothing.  =)

Big girl day has been a success!

A big *sigh*

What's the point of living if your life isn't being lived out for Christ?

That's the big question I've been pondering today.  Why?  Ohhhh, I'm 'circulatating' (don't ask, just read) through a myriad of thoughts, a myriad of emotions...

Why?

Well... let's see... most of my blog followers, if any of you exist anymore, know that the past three years have been incredibly difficult for Mike and me.  If it could happen and be extremely difficult, it has happened.

In the midst of that, Mike and I have had to make a lot... I mean, A LOT of big decisions.  Decisions and change are never easy.  I've posted in prior postings (much prior, like months prior) that we've been prayerfully considering a lot of different things (sorry so vague, but I didn't specify then, nor will I specify now).  Some of those decisions have passed us by, some are still in the far future, but some of them are upon us now.

It is the 'now' decisions that have me pondering my big question of the day...  As I think about the decisions that Mike and I make regarding our family, the big thing [ugh, sorry...  I keep using 'thing' and I hate its simplicity... but, I'm too tired to use a big and pretty word] that jolted my thought processes was that in making decisions, we have to be making decisions not out of want for self, but out of want for Christ. Does that make sense?

I was reading through a mailer we received for Moody alumni today.  It's more of a booklet of updates on Moody grads.  Always when I read through this, I am quite intrigued.  The ministries of brand-new grads and the bios of those who have recently died are amazing.  Paragraph after paragraph of folks who, upon graduating from Moody, are out working the front lines of the Silk Road, India, the Congo, China, Iraq... places I can't spell or pronounce... places that are just downright scary to me.

I'm sure if I could see myself read, I'd see that my eyes are big and my mouth gaping.   My thought... what drives these people???  Obviously, or perhaps not obviously, but these people have come to realize that life isn't for living about themselves.  Our lives and our bodies are Christ's.  If we're truly devoted to Him, then we wouldn't be seeking to advance 'our kingdom' of materialism, fancy-schmancy supersized homes, sports, our image, and just plain (sorry) silly pursuits that we in our culture put on such an idolized pedestal.

I'm not saying I'm leaving for the mission field, folks.  =)  I'm just saying that I've been in a lot of thought lately, and my conclusion is that, even if I don't like some things, I'm going to go with what I feel Christ is calling me to.  Why?  Because, today, again, it was revealed to me that my life is not my own.  I need to stop trying to do what I want and do what I need to do to pursue Christ's Kingdom... the REAL Kingdom.

This probably makes no sense.  But, I'm thinking when I need to be sleeping, and rather than have these thoughts run circles through my head all night (because that's how my brain works... it doesn't shut off no matter how hard I try), I'd just type my thoughts out.  So, here they are.  =)

Just a sweet picture...

Here's a pic I took yesterday of my two sweet girlies.  =)

Doctor, doctor, give me the news...

... I have a little kid's hand that is turning blue...

From bruising?  That's what we were thinking...

Yesterday, in our blustery yet wonderful 90 degree day, Mike and I and little Noël had quite the pool party.  Sunburns, yard work, any reason to not go inside.  Little Sis came out a few times, but since she's still a heavy sleeper, she missed out on most of the fun.

Our plan was to play hard, then grill steaks, get the girlies to bed on time (since we decided to forgo naps for play time), then Mike and I would watch a movie.

Steaks were done, on the plates... I was just finishing mashing the taters, brownies were done, lemonade made... then, it happened.

Noël was helping Sissy with her toys.  Sissy was in her bouncy seat, having just finished her applesauce.  She threw her toy over onto the floor, so Noël fetched it for her.  In getting the toy back to Sissy, a terrible thing happened... a wrist injury.

Noël usually is a tough cookie, but she was bawling and bawling and was hanging her arm limply at her side.  I was feeling everything from her shoulder (checking her clavicles, checking her wrist bones) to her hands to see if I felt something awry.  And, I did... on her left wrist, there was a funny bumpy area that didn't match the other wrist.  Touching it resulted in screams.  I had Mike feel it and confirm what I felt.  Yes, he felt it, too.  We were so afraid she had somehow broken a bone.

In a mad rush, I flew through the house grabbing things we would need for an ER visit.  I tossed all of our yummy food into the fridge, hustled the dog out the door and into his box, and prepped some bottles for little Sis.  Mike held onto the screaming and sobbing Noël.  I wrapped an ice bag around her wrist, which made her cry more (any little movement sent her into a bigger fury).

And, out the door we went.  The car seat was a disaster.  Poor Noël.  I was trying my best not to move her wrist, but it was impossible.  Mike drove quickly to Knoxville to Children's Hospital ER.  I was afraid of a long wait time, I was afraid of broken bones.  I was just very, very sad for my little Noël.

Mike dropped us off at the door and I took Noël in.  Thankfully, the ER was quiet so we were taken back to triage, then within minutes, were going to an actual room.  I was shocked the doctor came in right away.

She was wonderful and amazing.  The way a kid's doctor should be, especially in a scary place like an ER.  Noël didn't want anybody to touch her, but this doc was so good with her.  She quickly assessed her and came to the conclusion it wasn't a broken bone.  Thank you, Lord!  She said it was an out-of-joint elbow, something called 'nursemaid's elbow' and would be a simple resetting the joint.  Ouch.  As she reset it, the elbow popped in immediately.  As she was moving down her forearm, suddenly Noël's wrist popped, too.

The sound that came from the doc was interesting.  She looked alarm.  She stated, "oh, my goodness... I have never had that happen.  Honey, you're going right away for an xray.  Oh, my."  And, again and again and again.  She told us wrists in children don't come out of joint.  She said she had NEVER experienced that and it was freaking her out a bit.  Gotta love honesty, right?  =)  She told us, "sorry, guys, I just can't hide things on my face."  We really didn't mind.

'Par for the course' is what we were thinking.  Our family has had our fair share of things the doctors have never seen...  from Mike's omentum infarction to my cyst intertwined in the roots of my front teeth.  It would only be right for Noël to make herself a medical mystery as well.

Noël and I went off to xray, Noël with exam gloves on her feet (a fav thing to do of hers, and quickly became the talk of the ER staff).  The brave little girl was so good and laid very still for all three 'pretty pictures' of her wrist.  I was a proud momma of my sad little thing.

By time we got back to our room, the doc came in and said the xray looked perfectly.  Thank you, Lord, yet again!  Noël was back to her normal self by time this was all done, and was using her hand again.  It was quite impressive how easy the fix was and how quickly she recovered.

We left the ER in about 90 minutes time and headed home.  Noël was covered in stickers, had her gloves on her feet, a glove on her hand, Buckles kitty in tow, as well as a new bear one of the police officers gave her on Easter, and was dancing along with the radio.  Our girl was back to her little zany self!

Little Sis was great, too.  She was up waaaay past her bedtime, and was a very good girl about it.  I think she was intrigued by all of the people and the colors of the ER.

Once home... we re-grilled the steaks and reheated our taters and finally ate our supper... four hours behind schedule.

It was so good.  =)

Brain drain?

Nope!  More like brain overload!

Flara had to meet with her developmental specialist whose focus is the brain and its development.  Let me say... wow, that was a lot of information in a short period of time!  But, I LOVED it!  I like it when people explain everything... in very full details... to me.  I want to learn.  Plus, when I do very occasionally work, =)  it will give me more knowledge to pass on to parents.

In all my years of NICU nursing,  I have never heard of the effects of extreme prematurity on the 'corpus callosum.'  The what?  I'm sure that's what you're thinking.  I labeled many of my posts NICU 101.  I think this could be a 300 level course on the brain.

The 'corpus callosum' is defined as "a broad band of nerve fibers joining the two hemispheres of the brain."  Key word:  BROAD.  As with many body systems, when babies are born as extremely early as little FlaraBean, the development of the corpus callosum seems to come to a screeching halt at the point in which baby is born.  Thus, at barely third trimester ages, the CC (as I'll now call it) is very THIN.  Had Flara stayed in her 5-star hotel, this band of nerve fibers would have continued to thicken to the point that full communication between the hemispheres would be occurring before she entered the world.

Yes, full communication.  The CC band has to be thick and broad to fully communicate between the two hemispheres.  When it is thin, the nerves are sending messages to the two hemispheres, but not all of those messages are making it to the other side.  Sad, huh?  It makes me think of the former treatment for epilepsy and mental illness... severing the two hemispheres so communication could no longer take place.  It's not that bad in Flara, though.  I'm just trying to paint a picture of what is going on in her  brain.

It would make more sense to explain it in terms of what Flara is or is not doing to illustrate this defect.  She has trouble bringing her arms together at the center of her body.  She keeps her thumbs tightly drawn into her fists.  She's all-over very stiff.  She doesn't roll over.  When we sit her up, she doesn't automatically reach her hands out to stop her from falling forward.  As our pediatrician noted, and now this specialist, she is lacking in upper body strength.

I'll use the thumbs to explain how this miscommunication is affecting Flara.  Because the two hemispheres are not communicating properly, Flara's brain does not recognize that some of her body parts exist.  That's partly why little early birds lay splayed out rather than tucking into that nice little 'fetal position.'  With her thumbs, her brain simply does not know they are there.  Crazy.  Thumbs are at the end of the bundle of nerves running from the fingers and hands up through the body to her brain.  If we don't actively push and stimulate these body parts, her brain won't get the message.  It's through pushing her and stimulating her that we can cause the CC to 'awaken' and begin recognizing that it needs to continue to grow and thicken.  If we don't push her, the CC will stay thin.

At this point, she doesn't seem so bad off.  She is, after all, still a baby.  But, left undeveloped, as she grows we would begin to notice things.  She wouldn't be able to coordinate tying her shoe laces, she wouldn't develop balance to ever learn to ride a bike, she would have difficulty balancing and coordinating walking, learning her ABC's would be difficult, colors would be trouble... I could go on and on...

So, when Flara is awake, we are doing lots of activities to send messages to her little growing brain to tell it to thicken up the CC.  We are firmly taking her thumbs and circling them in both directions, we are pushing little 'buttons' that trigger her to quickly flex her legs and draw her arms midline (towards the center of her body), we are using those and other buttons also to teach her to tuck in and roll over, we are doing funny little John Travolta maneuvers (that's what this doc calls them) that involve pointing her arms above her head and bringing it down across her body and touching her opposite side... yes, I sing 'Staying Alive' to her when I do this and she smiles.  =)  We are patting her hands on her opposite cheek, rubbing her upper arm with the opposite hand, working on 'elbows in' when she is on her tummy.  (This is beginning to sound like a full-time job in itself!).  There is lots more, but I'm getting exhausted typing it all out!

Anyways, every little thing that we are doing is awakening the nerve sensations that are occurring in her body to awaken her brain to realize that it needs to finish what it had set forth to do while still in the womb:  thicken up that corpus callosum to its normal 'broad' self.

In two days of work, Mike and I can already see improvements.  When she wakes up, I have found her up on her elbows twice now as she attempts to peek out and above the confines of her port-a-crib.  When I lay her on her back to change her diaper or start her exercises, she is holding her little hands together and gnawing on her fingers (usually, her arms would be laying out to her sides and rarely come together).  It's really been quite exciting!  The doctor had said that when everything begins 'clicking,' the progress would move very rapidly.  I am so thankful that this information came when it did!

On the flip side, I did see the very ugly reality of not working with the babies.  The office waiting room was full of Noël-sized kiddos sitting limply in their strollers.  Heads rolled to one side, eyes empty and gazing off in the distance, limp little legs, arms hanging loosely at their sides.    I know some of this is also caused by degrees of brain bleeds, but it was a sobering reality to take everything that I learned seriously.  It made me quite sad, actually.  Flara was sitting up in my lap, head upright, cooing and babbling.  These much older kids sat quietly, smile-less.  Their parents looked overdone and exhausted.  I just can't even imagine.  

One thought that kept overplaying in my mind was that this is the side of NICU babies I never see.  Once they leave the nursery, I really don't know what happens to them.  Flara is allowing me to experience the NICU world in a whole new light.

The other thought I've repeatedly had is... how amazing is our God that He created such intricacies within our brains.  It really just dazzles my mind to think how complex we are, and that God set forth every single perfect little detail.  Who ever would have thought that tucked thumbs in a preemie would indicate brain dysfunction?  The other amazing side is that not only are we so complex, but God's design is so perfect that we can manipulate the body to trigger an organ as amazing as the brain to fix itself.

Wow.  That's all I can say.

God is just amazing.