Complaint of the Day....

My months are always the same.  I have to sort out what to pay first, what to pay late, and which medical bills to squeak in to make my month complete.  The order changes month-to-month, but the end result is that everybody gets paid every month... I've been doing this for three years now.

Friday, I spent the entire night, as in up 'til 0500 hours, working on sorting out who to pay and when.  Already a bit late, I opted to pay one of my smallest student loans.

Sunday, today, I receive a phone call.

Dude: This is so-and-so from Not-so-Nice-Student-Loan Land.  I am calling because you are late on your January payment of 50.22.  Although this advances your due date and adds January's installment onto February's installment, I would still like to have you make a payment of part (as in January) or all of your amount due (including what's due February).

Me: Yes, I realize your computer shows that I am late, but my husband was paid on Friday and I paid everything at some point through the night on Friday.  I know, it's the weekend, and thus the system has probably not processed my payment, but it is in there.

Dude: Oh, great!  And, where, miss, did you make this payment?

Me:  Online, via my online account.

Dude:  Excellent.  The system does show that we have received a pending payment to your account posted on Friday.  I just needed to confirm that the payment was done.

(My thought... Annnnd, you needed to call me with this knowledge why????)

Dude:  For the record, so that I may make a notation, we would like to know exactly why you were late on this month's payment?

Me:  Well, I could list several reasons, but I'll give you the main reason.  I delivered my daughter extremely premature, and now we have a child whom the State considers disabled.

(Long pause... wonder if Dude has left... Still a long pause....)

Dude:  Ummm, okay.  Well, that is certainly understandable.  I will make note of that in my computer.  Now, I do need to ask as you have a payment coming up in February (at the END of February, mind you).  Will you be able to make your February payment, or do you anticipate more hardship?

Me:  Well, sir, in all honesty, I don't plan my life by looking ahead to the next month anymore.  In my family's situation, we focus on getting by a single day at a time.

(Long awkward pause repeats itself).

Dude:  Ummmm, well.  Ummm, that is certainly understandable (heard that before).  You are definitely in a situation that is difficult.  I will just make a notation of this in my computer (yes, I know).  Okay, miss, that is all I need for today.  In the meantime, you may receive more phone calls from our representatives until the payment actually is completely processed.

Me:  Yes, thank you.  You have a great day.

Dude:  Oh, yes.  Thank you.  [click]

*****************************************************************************

Today was just one of those days.  Feeling emotional, drained... been in lots of thoughts.  That phone call definitely did not accentuate the positives.

I know due dates exist for a purpose...including much more than due dates for bills.  Geesh.  Talk to Flara about due dates existing for a purpose.  It just seems that sometimes the (unintentional) insensitivity of others really slaps the reality of a situation into my face.  Perhaps it's because it followed a week that involved stitches, possible hearing loss, an upsurge in the thyroid issues, a baby so miserable because she cannot go potty, continued expression over concerns with her lack of vocabulary...  Who knows.  After a week of feeling surprisingly upbeat and positive about all of the newest developments, today was a major low.  Dude's phone call surely did not help.

Thankfully, the day was/ still is beautiful.  72 degrees and sunny.  It surely sparked life back into my doldrums.  The girls and I headed out to play after Mike went to work.  Although it was nap time and she was visibly distraught, I decided to keep the FlareBear up and get her out to get some God-designed Vitamin D therapy. Our outside time was spectacular.  We ran countless times around the yard, pseudo-climbed trees, dug in dirt, ate dirt (okay, just Flara), played chase.  Three hours passed by rather quickly.

In the midst of our play, complaint no. 2 filed.

My neighbors sat out a very nice metal swing set at the curb with a 'free' sign attached.  With Mike working, I could not drag the thing across the road with two kids in tow, so I decided to walk over and ask the neighbors if they would hold onto it 'til Mike came home.  I have the FlareBear in my arms, and a bouncy Noël at my side repeating, "wow wow swing,  wow wow swing."  She really wanted that swing.

I called Mike to double check that he was okay with the idea.  He says yes, we walk across the road, two male teens whom I have never seen before walk up the road.  The get to the swing about 10 steps ahead of us.  They jump up onto the swing, jump down, shake it.  Pick it up.  Look at me.  I know they hear little Noël still chanting her excitement at getting a swing.  Pick up swing and drag it into the road.  I groan.  I ask, "are you guys really going to take that swing?"  Teen One wheels around and says with attitude, "well, yes, ma'am."  Noël loudly says, "no, swing, no swing.  Wow wow swing."

Momma chokes back tears.  I know they heard her.  They were still within steps of us.  We're still in the middle of the road.  Noël looks up at me with her little face smooshed up like she could cry.  I tell her I am so sorry, but the boys decided to take it.  She tells me they are mean boys.  Yes, momma agrees.

We talk to our neighbors a bit, then go home.  She quietly tells me at home that she really wanted the swing.  I tell her quietly that I know how disappointed she is and that momma's disappointed, too.  I remind her that this is a good lesson that sometimes in life, we will be disappointed.  I tell her, too, that God sees all that we say and think and do, as well as what others do.  I tell her God knows how much she wanted that swing, and he knows the heart condition of the boys that caused them to take a swing from a sweet little girl.  She looks down and tells me, "mean boys" again.  I tell her they did not do something nice, but God is still in control of everything.  I ask her if she knows that it might not seem fair now, but one day they will have to talk to God about why they made a selfish decision and broke the heart of something God cares a lot about.  She says she knows.  I then ask her what God wants us to do.  Sadly, she tells me she does not know.

Pray for our enemies.  She turns her little head.  Momma tells little Noël that when somebody hurts us, we should pray for them.  She agrees.  We pray for the boys to be made aware of the ugly within their hearts that made them want to put themselves first.  We pray that the boys would not continue on in a path that will likely lead to destruction.  We ask that God gives comfort to Noël and helps her to understand everything that happened outside.  We ask forgiveness that we were angry at the boys and pray that they could know the love of Jesus Christ.

When all was done, she really seemed okay.  I honestly think this was the first major letdown that did not end in a flood of tears and unrecognizable words.  I really was proud of how Noël handled such a major disappointment.  I told her that maybe God's plan for her swing set is bigger than the one we could have had today, but it could be His plan that we just don't have one.  She gave me a smiley, "yes."

That certainly turned the situation into a positive, and I was definitely thankful that God used that disappointment to teach Noël a lesson on how we should respond to others and letdowns in life.  It also was a good reminder and lesson for momma on several levels.

The day has ended well.

God is good to us.