So, I haven't been back to work on this as much I have wanted to. I desire greatly to get little Flara's birth story on here, but that's basically a novel on paper waiting to happen, so until I get that done... it'll be a while before it makes its way here.
Having a baby in the NICU has to be one of the most nerve-wracking, stressful things to put on a family. As during the events leading up to Flara's emergency delivery, I have to keep reminding myself constantly that God is completely sovereign in all of this. That means that good or bad, I need to trust that His will is right and perfect for our lives. (Sigh) But, that's so hard to do at times.
With that said, our newest development in the baby/delivery saga is that I have developed the flu. No fun. In notifying the NICU that I have the flu, they quickly swabbed our little Flara's tiny little nose and guess what? Flara has the flu, too. This scares me beyond anything because it can be so detrimental. As it stands right now, she is still doing amazingly well, and does not seem to be affected in any way. Perhaps we caught it early enough. She and I are both being treated with Tamiflu, and now, for prophylactic reasons, so are Mike and Noël.
A big downside to all of this is that I will not get to see my beautiful little girl until Tuesday at the earliest. It's killing me. Last night, ten minutes before we were set to leave to visit her, I received word that I was probably flu-infected and that I had to stay home. I know it's for the best, and at the time, I for sure know I needed to stay. I had just finished an iced drink and had my temperature come back at 102.6. I can only imagine how high it would've been had I not had my mouth cooled down.
Just the night prior to all of that, we were able to hold our precious little baby in our hands, although still in her isolette. I definitely think that will remain one of those defining moments in her little life like when I delivered Noël and she was laid upon my chest and we gazed into each other's eyes for the first time. Because little Flara's delivery was so emergent and her life so fragile, I had to lay for what seemed like forever behind the blue drape straining to hear any signs of life from my little girl. When she was finally stabilized enough to transport, the staff didn't even want to take the time to bring her by for me to take a look. She needed immediately to make her way to the NICU. So, I was straining as hard as I could as she was wheeled out of the room, and briefly caught sight of this teeny tiny perfect little face. She was so pale at that point. But, all I could think of was that she beheld the same face as my Noël... and she was beautiful.
So, to be riding on the high of feeling her little life within my hands, including the surprise of her little fused eyes having both opened that day and getting to experience that first look into each other's eyes, to then be told you can't come back until Tuesday at the earliest... ugh. It felt like a good kick to the stomach. I'm not attempting to write a sob story, though. Although I have admittedly shed more than my lifetime's worth of tears in the past two weeks, I did still step back from it all and think God must just be allowing our family some much-needed rest. Not one of us has really rested or recovered from the time this all began nearly two weeks ago. Although I hate being away, Mike and I were able to go to bed early last night and get our most decent night of sleep yet. Also, we don't experience unrest in Flara's safety or care. She has the best team of primary nurses and doctors caring for her and watching her closely around the clock. We are extremely thankful that we don't have to add the stress of wondering whether she's in good hands or not to our long list.
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As I write this, little Flara is 11 hours away from being exactly one week old! That's very exciting! Quite a bit has happened during that week, too. As of today, she is at 1 pound, 13 ounces. She started out at 2 pounds, 0.44 ounces, then lost over the next few days to 1-13. She then experienced a few days of weight gain to top her out at 1-14. Today, she had dropped back to 1-13.
Respiratory-wise, she remains on SyPap. We are extremely thankful that she only spent about 4 1/2 days on the ventilator. To be just 26 weeks, 4 days gestationally at birth, she has done amazingly. We were fortunate enough to have not only received my two rounds of Betamethasone (a steroid), but that I had finished them days before my delivery. Steroids are given when it appears a delivery might be imminent because it forces premature lungs to mature. It allows baby a better chance at success when they are born. Flara actually has been doing so well that she was given a trial without her SyPap, but it deemed too much effort for our little gal at this point. So, she remains with a little extra pressure support, and only with a measly 23% oxygen! (21% is the lowest oxygen can go because that's the amount of oxygen in the air at all times!).
Her infection rate continues to drop, and by today, appears to be very minimal. I had developed an infection within my amniotic fluid, so Flara began life very, very sick. Our biggest fear was how the infection would affect her. Her antibiotics have done their job well! (That, and the hand of Christ!)
Flara had her repeat head ultrasound yesterday. Her initial scan showed that she had experienced a Grade II head bleed on the right side of her brain, but that it was not causing any swelling. Bleeds on premies' heads are quite common. Given the frailty of their developing brains (at the time, their ventricles are comprised of tiny, very fragile capillary beds), it's nearly impossible to escape a delivery and resuscitation without experiencing any form of bleeding. This presents like a little stroke within their brains. Outcomes are affected by severity, swelling, whether it's single-sided or both, and how the bleeds stabilize, and then whether the body reabsorbs the bleeding or not (to name a few). A single-sided Grade II is actually not that bad, although it sounds scary. So, on Flara's repeat, we found that her bleeding had stablized and was slightly improved! Praise God! =)
We have been extremely blessed so far by everyone who has been praying constantly for us. Flara has been doing exceptionally, but as a now 27 week, 3 day baby, she still has a long road ahead of her. As this recent flu outbreak goes to show, new troubles can arise at any moment along the way. We ask that you continue to pray for our little girl with as much diligence as before, and keep Mike and I in your prayers, too! This has proven extremely hard on our marriage... more so than we ever would have imagined. Although we are constantly having to trust in Christ, we are still human and fall to worry and stress more than we should. Also, this has all been very hard on big sissy Noël. So, please keep her in your prayers, too. Until our lives settle a bit, I think it will continue to be a strain on Noël. She does best with consistency and a schedule, and we have had anything but that for two weeks now.
And, on a final note for today... Noël. =) We took her to Tanger Five Oaks outlet mall to pick out a baby doll for baby sissy. This was really fun! We took her to the Disney store, and let her pick out the toys; one for her and one for sissy. She first bee-lined to a giant pyramidal table of giant stuffed animals. Of all the choices, she was shoving big Daisy Ducks under her arms. Well, so she could only manage three. But, Daisy was, should we say, gaudy? So, we got her to surrender the big Daisy ducks, and corralled her over to the little Beanie-sized dolls. She had many cute, cute choices. So, what did she choose... again? Daisy! We suggested a cute Minnie Mouse. She said no. How about this cute little pink Piglet? No. This one? No. How about this cute little guy? No. Daisy. Yes. So, we brought home two Daisy's. I described Daisy as a Dolly Parton of sorts. She sports a big ole pink bow on top of her head, a purple velour shirt, pink high heels, a turquoise blue bracelet, and to top it all off... a big shock of purple eye shadow. =D That's our girl! But, she loves it and she picked it out, and that's all that matters.
